Amazed and confused

I think I've known Phil for around 10 years and I can tell he's hurting(and not just because he constantly says so), but I can see it in his face.

I've worked with Phil on a lot of projects over the years, but over the past few weeks, as I've followed him around, his behavior is much different than I'm used too...he has always been funny, confident and organized to me...I've not noticed the blunting or other effects of the medication that he has talked about but I've only ever really known him while he has been on the drug...However, I certainly notice a difference now! He's still the Phil I've known but he's much more emotional, a little forgetful, not on top of things like he usually is and just slightly out of control, maybe a little like he is constantly working to stay in control.


Image filmed by Bob Seabold.

In the late 80s I was diagnosed with clinical depression...I was seeing a therapist at the time and was directed to a psychiatrist who gave me a prescription for Prozac. At the time I was struggling in school and fighting bouts of depression. I continued to see a therapist while on Prozac but after almost a year I felt there were no effects and decided to quit cold turkey. I continued to see a therapist(or two) for a few years and finally tapered that off although I have thought of going back several times over the last few years. I can get quite depressed at times but I guess I've always thought that I should get myself out of it, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I'm quite confused about what depression really is, can it or should it be worked out with a pill, am I supposed to suck it up, is it my responsibility to eat well, exercise, seek therapy then as a last resort go for medication?

Working on this project with Phil certainly has made me think...about the role of pills in our society, about depression as a disease, and about what people are willing to risk for a quick and easy fix.