Straight to the Source

In my quest to find out more about the origins of my depression and anxiety, I decided it was time to talk to an expert – not just any expert, but someone who could answer the really tough questions about my physical and emotional development. Stuff that only a mom would know…

So, the next logical interview was just that – a visit with my mom.


Image filmed by Bob Seabold.

My mom happens to be an elementary school counselor in Missouri and has been for years – so to me, she truly is an expert.

I do have to admit, I was a little nervous about sitting down and sharing all of this information about my life with my mom. Don’t get me wrong, we have a great relationship, but we don’t normally tread through too rough of waters. Our conversations usually sound something like this, “Hi P, how are you doing?” “I’m fine.” “So things are okay?” “Yep.” That’s usually the depth of the conversation. I think as adults, people can get to a point where everything seems to get sugarcoated when they talk to their parents. In my case, I’m not sure what it is – maybe I don’t want her to worry about me. Or actually, maybe I don’t want her to be disappointed in me.

I learned a lot that day talking to my mom – some interesting and embarrassing stuff about me, but more than that, I learned a lot about her. What a great woman – divorced in her 30’s, she basically raised three rambunctious boys, worked her butt off and never once complained or showed any signs of weakness. She was a rock for us – and I never really understood or appreciated how much she suffered for us – I will forever be in her debt.

We talked for a couple of hours and it was great. But as I drove away, all I could think about was how sad it was that our conversation for this film was probably the first time we’ve talked that honestly and intimately in 30 years. It’s amazing how little we really share about ourselves – especially with the people we love.